My Cauliflower Puff Recipe
The First (and Probably Only) Recipe I’ll Ever Post on My Blog
I’m not exactly known for my prowess in the kitchen(!) But every Thanksgiving and Christmas (sometimes Easter, too) I make my famous Cauliflower Puff.
Actually, it’s my mother-in-law, Jean’s, Cauliflower Puff, which was passed on to me by my sister-in-law, Nancy.
And now, by popular request, I am passing it on to you.
Here’s what you need.
2 medium heads of cauliflower
1/2 cup butter
4 teaspoons all-purpose flour
2 cups milk
salt and pepper
1/2 cup fine dry bread crumbs
6 eggs
2 cups of shredded cheddar cheese
1 stunt double (more on that below)
Here’s what you do. (This is the double-batch, “make sure we have leftovers” version. You can cut it in half if you wish to be more circumspect. I will still respect you.)
Preheat oven to 400.
Break 2 heads of cauliflower into florets. Enjoy that “florets” is actually a word. Imagine a backup band named “The Florets.” Return to the task at hand. Realize it would have been good to bring water to a boil first. Bring water to a boil. Put The Florets in the boiling water and regret having anthropomorphized them. Add some salt to the water because you forgot to earlier.
After about 8 minutes (or whenever The Florets are tender), drain the pot and set them aside.
Separate 6 eggs into whites and yolks. Clean up the mess from your failed separation attempt and ask your husband (or any appropriate stunt double) to separate 6 more eggs. While he cracks the eggs, crack jokes about separating the sheep from the yolks. Kill with the biblically literate crowd.
Melt 1/2 cup of butter in a medium-to-large-sized pan. (No one said this was health food.) Once the butter has become Golden-Happiness-Syrup, stir in 4 teaspoons of all-purpose flour. Cook what is now Golden-Happiness-Sludge on low heat for 2 minutes.
Gradually stir in 2 cups of milk, and bring the Milky-Golden-Happiness-Sludge to a joyful boil. Season with salt and pepper. (If you have time, and even you don’t, stop and watch that bit from John Mulaney’s SNL monologue when he remembers Patrick Stewart introducing musical group Salt-N-Pepa.)
Stir in most of the bread crumbs, holding back a few of the best and brightest crumbs for a more important role later.
Remove from heat, and stir in the egg yolks, 2 cups of shredded cheese (at least 2 cups - go big or go home), and The Florets.
In a really big glass bowl, whip the egg whites until they are stiff. Give up after about 5 minutes and, once again, call in a stunt double with more patience and kitchen finesse to whip the eggs into resistance.
Fold your Florets mixture into the egg whites. Feel like a Bonafide Chef for knowing what “fold” means in this context.
Pour the whole thing into 2 large Corningware dishes. (I pre-spray both dishes with some Olive Oil cooking spray, ‘cause that’s how I roll.) A spatula will help here.
Sprinkle the tops of both dishes with the remaining bread crumbs. I like to use the “warming your hands briskly” crumb-distribution method, because it makes me feel Ramsay-esque.
Bake both dishes uncovered for 30 minutes or until the whole thing looks puffed and golden. If it looks golden, but not puffed, it’s likely you didn’t get the egg whites stiff enough, which means you are a reasonable person with more important things to do and should feel zero shame. Whether you have actually produced “Cauliflower Puff” or “Cauliflower Flat” it will taste delicious.
Let me know how it goes!
Bon appetit!